The Surprising Connection of Stress and Success
We all aim for success, but what does being successful mean to you or your teen? How far would you go to achieve it?
You might wonder if I'm suggesting that chasing success isn't worthwhile, especially when it comes to our children. But that's not my point. Wanting to succeed is a natural human desire. What's crucial, however, is understanding how stress and success are connected.
In a world that values high achievement, the belief is that success comes from hard work and a lot of stress. But how true is this?
What Does Success Really Mean?
Studies suggest that while making more money can make us happier, this happiness is not straightforward. It's influenced by many factors that contribute to life satisfaction. So, maybe the question isn't about how to be successful, but what would make life fulfilling.
Understanding Stress
Stress is our body's way of responding to demands. It can be short-term (acute) or long-lasting (chronic). Chronic stress can lead to anxiety, where our body reacts to a challenge even when there's no immediate stressor.
Often, we view success as being the best, and anything less feels like failure. Surrounded by high achievers, the stress to keep up releases stress hormones like cortisol, making stress a constant presence in our lives.
The Pressures Facing Teens
Teenagers today face immense pressure to excel in all areas of their lives to secure a spot in a prestigious college, which they believe is necessary for success. This pressure is not just about their own aspirations; they're also conscious of not disappointing their parents.
A teenager's day is comparable to an adult working two full-time jobs while striving to be the top performer. It's clear how stress accumulates.
To cope, some teens might turn to drugs, alcohol, or even illegal activities to escape the pressure, yet still claim to be "pretty happy" or "fine."
How Can We Help?
It's vital to encourage teens to develop a healthy sense of self. Praising them for qualities not related to performance—like kindness, creativity, or dedication—can teach them that success and satisfaction come in many forms.
Creating a supportive environment with parents, teachers, and coaches who highlight their strengths and support their growth is crucial. Using threats as motivation can be harmful in the long run.
As a teen therapist in Atlanta, I've seen the impact of stress and success on teenagers. I believe it's essential for adults to be a supportive voice, helping teens discover their passions and interests and build a life that's truly worth living.
